Is it true, is it not -- straight ahead of oneself, one cannot go that far?
I fell. It was a long fall, although it started at ground level.
Certainly few of my bones remain unbroken. My toes point in opposite directions. that's odd, the nail on my right middle finger is black, purple actually. Looks excruciating but isn’t -- thereby confirming my pronouncement of termination... If regret is an emotion native to these post-mortal parts, I’ll meet it on my account. Is the nail on my right middle finger's discoloration emblematic -- the rottenness at its end signifying my return?
This is a self assessment...
Unconventional but nothing symbolic or stunning about it. when i was a child, i was unaware that i often stare at the ceiling for quite a while -- my parents usually caught my attnetion and they thought if i were thinking of something too serious. i was actually not thinking of something, i was also wondering why. what's upon that ceiling? Absolutely nothing, just like a plain blank... And why I was so entertained back then? I can't remember. Probably, a relief for me when my sight was point out to nowhere... It's like a magnificent plane, spacious and yet peaceful. Now, I have grown enough, and i can still found myself on that habbit for sometimes...
I dreamed of becoming a man of versatility... Well, I am indeed versatile but in a different point of view and it is my preference. I gave up my ultimate dream of becoming an architect. I wanted to build the Philippines' tallest skyscraper. Since i was 10, i said i only wanted to be an architect and earn millions... if not an architect, a corporate lawyer -- that's all i wanted to become. looking back right now, i said to myself, that was just a mere fun of my childhood years. All I knew was to know what to want and I never thought that I will eventually go and figure it out myself on how to achieve it. I never knew what was tough and all I knew that everything was all that easy. when i was about to go to college, everyone else seemed to disagree with my plan. They succeeded in making me realize that architecture wont make me rich. I ended up now -- a corporate slave...
Now, i still have my dream and i will take it as my last card as i remeber a line from a book which i will not tell you what book it is for it is unbelievable that someone like me will ever have interest over its prudent thought-provoking food-for-thoughts, though, i didn't finish reading it, i can't comprehend anymore -- i know i'm not ready yet. if we committed something wrong and we are not aware that it is wrong, we can still reason out by our innocence and we wont be accountable that much for the damage. the first few chapters of the book was like giving me the message that "live life as if it is your first day in the world" and othet stuff that was exactly like my chilhood years. And look what have I become over my so many living my life like it's my first day in the world. I totally disagree because it only tolerates uncertainty and carelessnes. Instead, I insists that life should be lived as if it is our last day in this world -- like as if there's no second chances -- always the best shot. After all, life is more often that not, only always kind for those who outwit the population.
I never plan to work in an office facing the computer in the whole 8-hour shift... i think im loosing now... my eyes is about to expload I can feel the surge in my stomach like it always want to vomit. I look like a panda, i've got a terrible eyebug... worse... 
but don't misunderstand, i'm not sad... 
